A Note to the Couple Facing Some Challenges….
Imagine being able to open up to your partner about what’s bothering you and feeling like your partner hears and actually understands you. Imagine feeling appreciated for the efforts that you know you’re putting into the relationship and getting recognized for those efforts with sweet kisses and a regular, “Thanks babe! I appreciate how much you do for me and our family.” Imagine having a conversation without arguing, where can share about your day and focus on supporting each other‘s goals and dreams. Imagine getting back to where you once were when you were having fun with your partner and doing things that you both love and enjoy. Imagine if being romantic and going on dates was a priority again, where intimacy was strong on both the physical and emotional level. Imagine your life four to six months from now, on the same track; now imagine your relationship four to six months from now with the positive benefits you will have gained through couple’s therapy.
My philosophy for couples experiencing challenges in their relationship
It's never too late to get back on track! It's up to you!
Many couples begin couples therapy feeling somewhat hopeless. Some of them tell me that they feel like their relationship is failing or not doing well and they just don’t know what to do. They feel like they have tried everything, but nothing is working. While my philosophy: is the earlier, the better, it’s never too late to learn new skills and strategies to improve and enhance your relationship. You can always get back on track. It takes work and effort to create the changes necessary to improve your relationship, but the tools are out there and available to anyone who wants to use them. As long as there is a willingness to learn new skills and a desire to keep your relationship alive, your relationship can improve. I don’t believe in the saying that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. If you want to change your relationship, you can.
Gottman's Couples Therapy
Evidenced Based Therapy
The wonderful thing is, that there is actually a science to what keeps couples together and what splits them apart and I want to share that with you! I practice Gottman’s Couples Therapy which is an evidence-based treatment for couples where I:
share the research about how to have a happy, healthy and long lasting relationship.
interview the couple together and the partners individually, utilizing a research-based assessment during the first two sessions and provide the couple with feedback about where they are strong in their relationship and where they could use improvement.
provide the couple with treatment plan goals based upon their desired needs.
Solution Focused Therapy
Building Upon Strengths and Finding Exceptions to the Problems
I also utilize Solution Focused Therapy where I focus on the strengths and hopefulness of the couple, on times when things were and still are going well. We scale progress on a weekly basis, as a form of measured improvement and work together to build upon the already existing strengths and hope of the couple to enhance the couple’s current relationship.
What to Expect in Couples Therapy
Some Examples of the Tools Couples Will Learn in Couples Therapy
How to identify ones needs in the relationship
How do identify their feelings more clearly
How to effectively communicate one’s feelings and needs to one’s partner
How to talk about feelings with more ease
How to become a better listener
Coping techniques to manage high running emotions like stress, anger, anxiety and sadness.
Couples Therapy Works Best When
When both participants are willing
When each participant is able to consider his/her partner’s perspective
When participants are willing and open to learning
When participants are willing to make a commitment to the process
When couples are willing to apply what they learned in session at home
When couples are willing to have the patience with themselves and each other and are able to understand that it takes time to break old habits and implement new ones
When participants are willing to become vulnerable in session when confronting fragile issues that may create feelings of discomfort and continue to work through these times despite these feelings
By coming to couples therapy, I’m going to help you:
Remember why you fell in love in the first place
Help you to see how you have been able to utilize your strengths as a couple thus far to make your relationship and commitment to each other continue to work despite challenges
Help you get back on track to being the way you once used to be
Help you identify your current needs in your relationship
Assist you in expressing your feelings to your partner in a way that he/she will be receptive to what you are saying
Become a better listener
Understand your partners perspective
Work through existing resentments
Work on recreating fondness and admiration for your partner
Rebuilding emotional connection and intimacy
Bringing back or improve physical intimacy
Get back to the things you once loved doing together that made your relationship fun and exciting
Rebuild and reimplement meaningful moments in your relationship
If you would like to further discuss your relationship needs with me or are interested in scheduling a session, give me a call at 321-795-2612 for a free 15 minute consult today!