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Premarital Counseling 

A note to couples considering marriage from Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Kristina Fecik on her philosophy on couples therapy...

Let me start out by applauding you for making the decision to seek relationship counseling before getting married. I might be a little biased, but I think it's a very smart decision based on my experience as of having worked with countless couples. Many couples wait too long to seek the information and tools necessary to create change in their relationships. They wait until problems have become resentments, the idea of divorce is on the table and hope is close to being lost. I believe that couples need preventative care, that is, obtaining knowledge and tools about what keeps a relationship happy, healthy, strong and long lasting before problems arise. Just like a car needs regular oil changes to maintain the engine, and just like a heart needs healthy food and exercise, so does a couple need preventative maintenance to stay strong, happy and healthy. There is a wealth of research available about what keeps couples together versus what splits couples apart. It may seem strange for a couple to come to get pre marriage counseling when things are going well and both parties are happy in the relationship, but it’s actually a great time to come.

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Often times when couples wait until their relationship is in peril, they become doubtful and even exhausted trying to make their relationship work, that they lack the energy necessary to turn things around. With newer couples, it's an opportune time to learn what's necessary to make a happy, healthy and long lasting relationship because there is joy, desire and excitement. Love is in the air and couples have the energy necessary to make things work. 

Premarital Counseling Is Preventative Care 

Benefits of Pre marriage Counseling

Through pre marriage counseling you can:

  • Learn about the effective communication styles that will lead to a long lasting and healthy relationship versus the ones to avoid, that according to research, lead to couples splitting apart

  • Identify your feelings and needs in your relationship

  • Be able to effectively communicate your feelings and needs to your spouse/partner 

  • Become a better listener

  • Understand your partner's perspective

  • Avoid building resentments

  • Learn coping techniques to manage high running emotions like stress, anger, anxiety and sadness.

  • Understand how to maintain feelings of fondness and admiration for your partner

  • Understand how to keep connection and emotional intimacy present in your relationship

  • Understand how to keep physical intimacy present in your relationship

  • Understand how to keep happiness and enjoyment in your relationship

  • Understand how to continue to create meaningful moments in your relationship

Pre Marriage Counseling Works Best When

 

  • Both participants are willing

  • Each participant is able to consider his/her partner’s perspective

  • Participants are open to learning

  • Participants are willing to make a commitment to the process

  • Couples are willing to apply what they learn in session at home

  • Couples are willing to have the patience with themselves and each other and are able to understand that it takes time to break old habits and implement new ones

  • Participants are willing to become vulnerable in session when confronting fragile issues that may create feelings of discomfort and continue to work through these times despite these feelings

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If you would like to further discuss your pre marriage counseling needs with me or are interested in scheduling a session, give me a call at 321-795-2612 for a free 15 minute consult today!

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Engaged Couple
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